Welcome to Sunday Supper!
Set the Table
Say your grace
Prayer - Dear God, Help me to be bold and balanced. Amen
Affirmation - I am a writer.
Gratitude - I am grateful for communal care.
I am grateful for every reader, subscriber, commenter, and those who share this newsletter with others.
The Main Dish
Dig in
An Unexpected Invitation
Once upon a time, I thought every family hung white flowers on their front door when a loved one died. Those white flowers tell the community that someone who lived at the house had gone from labor to reward, and grief had moved in.
The flowers are not merely decorations. They are invitations for others to stop by to offer words of comfort or support, bring food, drinks, sympathy cards, or other benevolent offerings. The flowers gather a community around a loss and remind family and friends that mourning was never meant to be done alone.
My dad died in 2018, and one of the few memories I have from his homegoing celebration was the beautiful white flowers that hung from a white pillar on my family’s porch.
Henderson Funeral Home
The now-closed Henderson Funeral Home, which served Black families in my hometown, also displayed white flowers on its door to let community members know it was providing services to a family.
When mourners or community members entered the funeral home, my beautiful, late Aunt Bob greeted them. For generations, her gentle spirit and kindness comforted grieving families and nosy neighbors alike. Aunt Bob likely experienced firsthand the difficult yet beautiful balance of mourning and joy.
With each death in my hometown, almost without fail, someone is bound to ask, “What happened? How did they die?” These post-mortem questions aren’t unreasonable to ask, but they’re highly discouraged. I try to avoid such inquiries and instead mourn with those who hang the white flowers.
Acknowledgement
The white flowers symbolize communal care, but that care should reach beyond a single porch or family. America needs to hang white flowers. We need a universal symbol that says: Someone here is grieving, and you are welcome to come in and offer comfort. The question is whether we will walk past the porch or step inside.
People who help the grieving know that you cannot heal what you do not first acknowledge. Today, America refuses to recognize its own causes of death: a repeated devotion to domination and destruction.
For example, America died when she normalized enslavement and slave catching. The hope of Reconstruction breathed a little life back into her, but she took herself off of life support to usher in a new era—Jim Crow. During this time, she lived by lynch mobs and vigilante violence.
The World Wars made her feel immortal. Then her redlining crippled her. The Civil Rights Movement breathed new life into her, but she chose the Southern Strategy, a slow-acting poison that still dominates modern American politics.
America will die a million deaths as long as she embraces domination and destruction.
Do No Harm
My worldview is grounded in the belief that cruelty is never okay. That’s why I believe America needs gentle spirits like my Aunt Bob and others who meet mourners with love and grace. She needs protestors who protest with love. She needs writers who tell the truth. She needs prayer warriors who pray with power. She needs faith leaders who serve, not self-serve. She needs artists who create for such a time as this. She needs politicians who can’t be pimped. She needs brilliant thinkers who strategize against injustice.
She needs a team of caregivers, not cruelty.
The cruel ones will lead her to her cooling board.
If you have the urge to do something, to help America, I implore you: do no harm.
The Revolution of Values
How does a country die? How does America survive?
On the eve of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I wrestle with these questions and confront the reality of the triple evils of poverty, racism, and militarism that Dr. King preached about. These issues still permeate American culture. The U.S. military budget now exceeds $800 billion. More than 37 million Americans live in poverty, and racism remains an ever-present reality.
The issues Dr. King raised then are still tangible today. However, Dr. King offered a way forward for us in his sermon, “The Revolution of Values,” where he proclaims,
“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death….
Our only hope today lies in our ability to recapture the revolutionary spirit and go out into a sometimes hostile world declaring eternal hostility to poverty, racism, and militarism. With this powerful commitment, we shall boldly challenge the status quo and unjust mores and thereby speed the day when every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low, and the crooked shall be made straight and the rough places plain . . .
Now, let us begin. Now let us rededicate ourselves to the long and bitter — but beautiful — struggle for a new world.”
Let Her Live
As I reflect on Dr. King’s words, I don’t want to hang the white flowers on America's door, but I must. I do this while holding grief on one hand and joy in the other. These flowers aren’t white flags of surrender, but are an acknowledgment of mourning.
The white flowers are not the end of the story. They are an invitation to respond with care, courage, and love. If America is to live, she must be cared for.
If we answer the call to respond, the righteous might breathe new life into a nation, my home, that longs to live.
Pot Likker and Cornbread Crumbs
There’s flavor in the small things.
Grief is honest, yet care is possible.
Table Talk
Join the Conversation
Which role feels closest to you in this season: gentle spirit, truth-teller, artist, organizer, prayer warrior, or something else?
Potluck
From Our Community Kitchen: Book, Music, Art, Substack
Book
Music
The chorus to Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” is well known, but the lyrics of each verse speak to his efforts to make Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day a national holiday.
Art
Substack Recommendation
Recipe Exchange
Plant the Peas Please
My grandpa, DaDock, always shared peas with my parents, and since childhood, they’ve been my favorite peas. Last week, I ordered some zipper cream crowder seeds to plant in my garden.
To welcome Dr. King to Memphis in April of 1968, the city's best cooks prepared a feast of crowder peas, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, greens, and sweet potato pie.
Before he could enjoy this meal, someone assassinated him. This tragic day happened before I was born, but the horrors of that time are still haunting.
This spring, as I plant each crowder pea, I will remember my grandfather and reflect on Dr. King’s life and legacy.
Dessert
A Sweet Send-Off
Something else: discerning witness
“The white flowers are not the end of the story. They are an invitation to respond with care, courage, and love.” I love the care, courage and love suggestion.