Sunday Supper: Caregiver Appreciation Month
A poem for caregivers
INTRODUCTION TO CAREGIVING
My understanding of caregiving began long before my professional journey in wellness and gerontology. I grew up in rural Arkansas, where my closest neighbors were my paternal grandparents, and they lived about two hundred yards from me.
When I was seven, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer. The nearest doctor was over an hour away, so my grandfather and parents took turns taking her to the doctor. Sometimes, my sister, who was seventeen-years-old at the time, took her. Her radiation treatment required lots of tender love and care, so my mom and sister took turns assisting her with bathing and wound care. My parents cooked extra food to feed my grandfather and my grandfather, and we all went to church together to support and encourage her.
I can still hear my grandmother saying this three-word prayer that she said throughout her journey, “Lord, have mercy.”
At seven years old, this was my introduction to caregiving. We didn’t use the word caregiving, as a matter of fact, our language for caregiving then and even now is “see ‘bout.” We had to see ‘bout my grandma. Whatever we chose to call it, I saw how each person who assisted my grandmother mattered.
What I didn’t see at the time—but have come to appreciate—is everything else that caregiving entails. There were many late nights and early mornings. There were lots of worries and extra money spent on caregiving. There was sadness, loneliness, frustration, and confusion. There were lots of tears and heartbreak and grief. But I also know that there was a lot of prayer, faith, hope, and love. There was also courage and the audacity to care and show up even when tired. There was learning, patience, and gratitude for having the complicated and honorable position called caregiver.
THE CHALLENGES AND REWARDS
Caregiving is not one size fits all. It is done worldwide in villages, rural and urban communities, trailer homes, mansions, apartments, and various facilities. It is done by the wealthy and impoverished. It’s done on the streets because many homeless people have caregivers, too. It’s done by sons and daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, spouses and neighbors, and even friends.
It requires relentless selflessness, unwavering care, and a spirit of giving. Yet, too often, caregivers feel isolated or overwhelmed. Have you had moments where you felt isolated or overwhelmed but pushed through because someone was counting on you? That’s why I’m here to tell you: You are not alone. Find your tribe and never shy away from asking for help.
To all caregivers, know this: Your role is invaluable. You may not always hear it, but your work is seen, your sacrifices are felt, and your care is a bridge built by love.
If you are a caregiver, feel what you need to feel, acknowledge what you need to acknowledge, and ask for help when you need to ask for help. You are not superhuman and don’t have to carry this load alone.
THANK A CAREGIVER
Let us also remember to show gratitude to caregivers. If you’re not a caregiver today, you might be one or need a caregiver in the future. Let’s commit to supporting those who give so much of themselves and thanking them for their commitment because we know that caregivers don’t always get a “thank you.”
Caregiving is not easy, but it is honorable. It comes with its challenges, but it also comes with profound rewards. So, to every caregiver, I say thank you. Thank you for your courage, your compassion, and your unwavering dedication.
C.A.R.E.G.I.V.E.R.S. Poem
Calm in chaos, your gentleness appears Always on the clock, even through the tears Rarely gets a break, yet always on time Even when tired, you are the paradigm Grief and gladness walk hand in hand on the same day If duty calls, you know how to make a way Victorious, you stand steadfast in this race Excellent with your care, you deserve a loving embrace Resolute in your giving, respected by all Suffice it to say, you’re someone’s miracle.
