Welcome to Sunday Supper!
Set the Table
Say your grace
Prayer - Dear God, Help us work together to restore what is broken, so that the fabric of our lives and our society may be made whole again.
Affirmation - I am attentive to the small things that matter.
Gratitude - I am grateful for lessons from children.
I am grateful for every reader, subscriber, commenter, and those who share this newsletter with others.
The Main Dish
Dig in
Worn at the Seams
The Charge
My daughter is wrapping up her first year in high school, and my son just returned home after his first year in college. When he came home, he gave me one of his classic “I love you, mama” hugs, and I felt a joy similar to the one I felt when he was on my chest shortly after he was born.
Being their mother is one of the greatest privileges of my life. In many ways, my children are my teachers because they offer lessons disguised as simple moments.
Just yesterday, my son, who is a savvy thrifter, wore a red, long-sleeved thrifted t-shirt to his sister’s track meet.
The bright sun on that 90-degree Virginia day exposed a tiny hole in the side seam of this newly thrifted shirt. I didn't notice this minor flaw when we were indoors, but it was impossible to ignore once we were outside.
“Son, you have a small hole in your shirt. Do you want me to sew it up?”
“It’s okay,” he replied, unfazed by the newly discovered hole.
“If you don’t take care of a small hole, it will get bigger,” I reminded him while thinking of how often this applies to other problems.
“You should write about that,” he said with a grin.
So, that’s my goal today: to explore what happens when we ignore the small holes, both in our clothing and in the fabric of our society.
Sewing and Society
I’m a seamstress and enjoy the process of designing a garment, cutting fabric, and stitching shapes together to create a one-of-a-kind piece. I also enjoy and take pride in mending holes, particularly at seams. For me, these are the easiest fixes. It's amazing to see the hole vanish. It is a patient act of restoration that leaves the fabric whole and ready to be worn again.
Unfortunately, it seems as though society is ripping apart at the seams, and it is hard to watch the holes currently widening in our larger, collective life. Many people purposely put holes in society, and the civic thread woven from trust, ethics, honor, and integrity is fraying.
The garments of a civilized society won't always stay intact and are subject to the same laws of strain and tearing as any well-worn garment. Like my son’s shirt, most tears do not begin as disasters. They start as tiny openings. The same is true for society: small, disparaging comments about “others” can grow into policies that wage war on them. Tiny lies fester into grand deceptions. Micro-moments of compromise stretch into enormous chasms of integrity. The strain pulls at the weak places until they widen, and a deep divide forms. The damage becomes hard to ignore.
Thankfully, sewing has taught me something else, too: mending is still possible. Last week, I mended a pair of jeans for my daughter, and she wore them the next day.
A sewist knows that repair requires patience, but they must first see and acknowledge the tear. They cannot pretend the fabric is whole when it is not. Then they reinforce the weakened places, stitch by stitch, until the hole is closed.
We can’t pretend that divides aren’t a reality in our society. We must choose to mend the fabric and make society stronger. We mend it with truth and integrity, courage and compassion, understanding and care, patience and love. We mend it by refusing cruelty, rejecting lies, and creating policies that value human dignity instead of causing harm.
I think about my son in his thrifted red shirt, standing in the bright Virginia sun, unconcerned about the tiny hole at his side. I know that with a needle, a spool of red thread, and a few minutes at my sewing table, his shirt can easily be made whole again, and it will have an extended life.
Maybe society, like my son’s red shirt, can still be repaired before the hole becomes irreversible. We cannot pretend the world is whole when it is not. It’s time to stop watching the seams rip and start stitching them back together.
Pot Likker and Cornbread Crumbs
There’s flavor in the small things.
If you don’t take care of a small hole, it will get bigger.
Table Talk
Join the Conversation
What do you think might mend the divides in society?
Potluck
From Our Community Kitchen: Book, Music, Art, Substack
Book
Music
Art
Substack Recommendation
Recipe Exchange
Freeze
This spring feels like summer, and a common thread in all of my summers is freeze cups, icebergs, huckabucks, lilydillies, or whatever you call them in your neck of the woods. I make them every summer, and enjoy having them on hand for guests who stop by the house.
They are simple to make and are the perfect cold treat for hot days. The recipe I use is almost identical to the recipe below. You can add fruit or even candy like gummy worms to this delicious treat.
What are these called where you are from?
Dessert
A Sweet Send-Off
Quilts by Nikki Giovanni
for Sally Sellers
Like a fading piece of cloth
I am a failure
No longer do I cover tables filled with food and laughter
My seams are frayed my hems falling my strength no longer able
To hold the hot and cold
I wish for those first days
When just woven I could keep water
From seeping through
Repelled stains with the tightness of my weave
Dazzled the sunlight with my
Reflection
I grow old though pleased with my memories
The tasks I can no longer complete
Are balanced by the love of the tasks gone past
I offer no apology only
this plea:
When I am frayed and strained and drizzle at the end
Please someone cut a square and put me in a quilt
That I might keep some child warm
And some old person with no one else to talk to
Will hear my whispers
And cuddle
near
Copyright © Nikki Giovanni.
I believe that old school civic engagement could make a difference. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful post.
Desire to mend it instead of throwing it all away.