Set the Table
Say your grace
Prayer - Dear God, May the light you've given me outshine the darkness in this world. Amen.
Affirmation - I keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. My voice carries wisdom, and my deeds reflect integrity. I am guided by purpose, and my light inspires those around me to shine.
The Main Dish
Dig in
The Overflow
I became an expert at sloppily folding my emotions and stuffing them in my subconscious's drawer. I didn't know how packed those emotions were until my 44th birthday this past week. All of my emotions spilled out. It didn't take a crowbar to pry the drawer open, either. Simply waking up was enough.
As soon as I opened my eyes, tears clung to the corners of each eye until the pressure built up, and water streamed down my face. This day was the first time I'd ever awakened with tears.
The Weights I Carry
As the tears fell, so did the mental walls I'd built to keep my emotions at bay. Each tear carried a weight I hadn't fully acknowledged. I dug deep and asked myself, "How did I get here? How did I get here on my 44th birthday? Why was this day dark despite the light I'd tried to carry within me?"
Maybe it was the weight of being a Black woman who tries to guide others with a moral compass in a world that often disregards Black women, morality, and direction.
Maybe it was the weight of ensuring my daughter was okay, especially since she woke up with post-election tears on November 6, 2024.
Or perhaps it was the weight of my son, a high school senior, juggling school, activities, and college applications, you know, first-world problems.
Maybe I felt the weight of supporting my husband as he navigates life as a Black man in America.
Perhaps I felt the weight of my father's death, a wound that grief keeps reopening, even six years later.
Maybe it was the weight of finishing my first novel, balancing work, and simply trying to hold everything together.
These responsibilities, coupled with my emotional journey, got heavy. I never shy away from my responsibilities, but I must learn to balance them better. The morning of my 44th birthday, my emotions tripped over each other. I felt the fall.
A Breaking Point and a Breakthrough
This birthday was a pivotal moment—a breaking point, yes, but also a breakthrough. My emotions demanded my attention, and I showed up for them.
I had to confront the hard truth: hiding emotions is a fallacy. They are never really hidden, but they are always searching for a space that allows me to be human in a way that helps, not harms. They push me toward understanding the fullness of my human experiences, and I am a welcome shelter for those emotions.
I don't know where I learned to ignore my emotions, but I know I can unlearn my unhealthy stuffing practice. I try to live authentically, and by confronting every emotion, I can show up in this world and be more of myself.
I don't know where I learned to suppress my emotions, but I know there is a better way. My emotions are messengers urging me to confront my feelings, heal, and grow. They tell me to live authentically by feeling what I need to feel, acknowledging what I need to acknowledge, and asking for help when I need it—a necessity that pride will squander.
Moving Forward with Grace
I got out of bed that day, not knowing what the day would bring and uncertain of how the day would unfold. But that day, I felt a shift. I'm grateful my 44th birthday brought me closer to understanding who I am.
From that day forward, I made a choice:
To boldly feel my emotions.
To confront and not suppress them.
To ask for help.
I'm learning that life isn't about perfection, but it's about authenticity. Each day offers another chance to unpack the drawer and live with intention.
An Invitation to You
Today, I extend an invitation to everyone at this table to open your emotional drawer, examine what's inside, and give yourself enough grace and space to unpack. Your light will shine brighter. Mine has.
Pot Likker and Cornbread Crumbs
There’s flavor in the small things.
Who in your community could use a little light right now? Think about ways you can guide or mentor someone to help them discover their light and their potential.
Potluck
From Our Community Kitchen
Music
“You are the light. It’s not on you, it's in you!” - Tyler, The Creator
Writing
Dear goddess! Face-up again against the renewal of vows. Do not let me die a coward, mother. Nor forget how to sing. Nor forget song is a part of mourning as light is a part of sun. - Audre Lorde
Recipe
I attended the Grio & Grey Owl Black Southern Writers Conference at the beginning of this month, where historian and chef Michael W. Twitty was a featured speaker, author, and guest chef.
Twitty served sweet potatoes, kush (a cornmeal dish), and collard greens. His collard greens were amazing!
When I returned from the trip, I cooked his collard greens recipe. His recipe calls for lime juice and coconut sugar, which, although surprising, added a wonderful flavor. I will make them again!
Check out his recipe and give it a try!
Table Talk
Join the Conversation
Dessert
A Sweet Send-Off
My son, Henry, was the speaker for Youth Day at 3rd Street Bethel AME Church in Richmond, VA. I proudly watched as he encouraged his peers and adults to “let their lights shine.”
Check out this service and get full from some encouraging words.
Let your light shine. Let it Shine, Let it Shine.
Timely message with an excellent theme!