Set the Table

Say your grace

Prayer: Dear God, Help me honor the traditions that bring wisdom and joy and give me the courage to release those that hinder growth and peace. Amen.

Affirmation: I embrace traditions that bring me joy. I release those that no longer serve me or cause harm.

The Main Dish

Dig in

The Table is Set: A Tradition of Connection

When my paternal grandmother, Bennie Smith, set her table, it was a ritual of love, care, and intentionality. Each detail mattered to her. The table linens, the polished silverware, the plates, and a centerpiece with real flowers from the family land were all meticulously chosen. Her table was more than a place to serve food. It became a sacred space where people shared love, connection, and community.

My late grandma, Bennie Smith, at her table in rural Arkansas.

My grandmother welcomed everyone - family, friends, and strangers - into her home with open arms and a great meal. She welcomed each guest with, “Make yourself at home!”

Ministers traveling across rural Arkansas as itinerant African Methodist preachers and their families often found refuge at her table. Kids whose parents needed help with feeding them frequented her table. Family and friends came often and never had to worry about hunger, not just because of the food she provided but because she nourished and fed the soul.

Sunday Suppers at her house were legendary, and her family and friends still tell stories about her hospitality. But what made her special wasn’t just the beautiful tablescape or the food she served. It was the care she poured into the preparation. Her preparation said, “You are seen. You are valued. You are welcome. You matter. Come. Eat.”

I realize now that she offered more than just a meal. She invited people to belong.

Her tablesetting legacy didn’t stop with her. My parents continued her tradition, and I learned from all of them. They taught me that setting the table isn’t just about aesthetics. Setting the table is about creating a space for connection.

Now, as I set my own table, whether for a formal dinner or a casual weekday meal, I carry her legacy with me. My table is modern, but the intention is the same as hers. When people sit at my table, I hope they feel the love, care, and belonging my grandmother generously shared.

My grandmother died from breast cancer in 1988, but her tradition of setting the table is one of the most important traditions I’ve inherited and eagerly share. Although my table may look different from hers, the spirit of love, care, and welcome is the same.

Since you’ve pulled up a chair, thank you for being a part of Sunday Supper.

Grandma Bennie and her China cabinet. Bennie Smith (1937-1988)

What traditions have you inherited or created that bring people together?

Leave a comment

Thoughts on Traditions

Traditions trap beauty in barbed wire.

Traditions preserve history.

Traditions hold hope hostage.

Traditions bridge generations.

Traditions operate on oppression.

Traditions carve space for creativity.

Traditions stifle progress.

Traditions propel promises of yesteryear.

Traditions create caste.

Traditions mold memories.

I am confident enough to honor the traditions that bring light and bold enough to release those that cast shadows.

Leave a comment

Pot Likker and Cornbread Crumbs

There’s flavor in the small things.

If there is a tradition that you want to start or continue, put effort into making sure it happens.

Potluck

From Our Community Kitchen: Music, Book Recommendation

Music

Hearing traditional Christmas hymns instantly gets me in the mood to celebrate. I love this rendition of “O Holy Night” by Mahalia Jackson.

Book Recommendation

Celebrating Advent is a tradition in which my family and faith community participate. Every year, I look forward to the Sundays leading up to Christmas when we read litanies and light candles as a part of this tradition.

Several years ago, I taught Bible study from Mary Had A Baby: An Advent Bible Study Based on African American Spirituals.

Here is a brief description from the editor.

Mary Had a Baby has four sessions, one for each week of Advent, and is perfect for small groups, Sunday school, midweek sessions, and choir workshops. Each lesson includes Scripture, song lyrics, devotional and contextual information, and discussion questions to stimulate deepening faith and a sense of community.
The four spirituals featured in Mary Had a Baby are “Mary Had a Baby,” “Rise Up Shepherd and Follow,” “Children, Go Where I Send Thee, “ and “Go, Tell It on the Mountain.” A mp3 file of the four songs is available for free with the purchase of the study.

Leave a comment

Recipe Exchange

It’s a Sad Cake, but it’s delicious!

Sad Cake is one of the holiday treats I looked forward to as a child. This easy-to-make recipe is a hit with my kids, too. I’ve made it for special events (no nuts) at their school and eagerly shared the recipe with their classmates’ parents who enjoyed the Sad Cake.

Give it a try, and let me know how it turns out.